Day 1

Well, here I go again on another yo yo diet. It sounds defeatist already ...sigh. I have struggled with my weight all my life. I am so miserable right now with the heat. I had the lap band done in 2008. I lost more weight before I got it then afterward. I stretched my stomach out in no time. I am an emotional eater. My mother has issues and lives almost 300 miles away. That is a struggle for me. Of the 60 some odd pounds I did lose, I have gained about 30 of them back. I can't do what I use to because of the band. Not the band itself, but the port, where it is filled and drained. It is located on my right side, just under the rib cage. You can feel it through my skin. I hated the Dr who did it. I had a hernia and I wanted my intestines put back where they went. It was the size of a softball when he first discovered it. He told me if I had it done before the lapband, I could not get the lapband. He said the tocars (spelling) wouldn't be able to go through the mesh, so we waited. I had to lose so much weight before he would perform the lapband operation. So the hernia got so big, I named it Bob. Bob had been "out" for so long my intestines were welded together. Anther Dr undid them, in what was to be an hr turned into 3 and LONG recovery for me. So I was not going back to lapband Dr. So now, here I sit and ready to start this bullshit again. My meal for toady was rice3, black beans, kidney beans and tomato salad on top of that. Quite tasty, but it's the only food I can have today. Hopefully I'll get past this.